Monday, March 12, 2007
The devil's scheme

These happened yesterday. It all started out when I can’t find my cuff link. I remembered vividly I left it in my old table drawer, which was thrown away by my mum. So I asked if she knew where she left it (because she tidied my table when I told her not to touch my things! I didn’t say anything when she did that). And you know what, she can’t find it and I think if fact, she didn’t take out the things in that drawer as all the stuffs there were missing. I was angry of course and what was worse, she didn’t even apologise! She maintained that pride and went telling my dad about how dirty my hamsters were, hoping that they’ll be get rid soon. (I was too busy, so I didn’t bother to wash the cage. This, I know it’s my fault. Also, I’ve been trying to look for people to take them despite my busyness!)

So my dad ORDERED me to put all my hamsters in a small container so he could throw them away for me. Haha! So I did. The hamsters fought in the container. I was upset. So I left home without saying ‘goodbye’ to my dad and he was furious! What a joke! He then shout at me to not go back home.

I heard from my sisters that they were ORDERED not to go to church. Then my sisters and I went to look for the hamsters after he left. We found them at the park. Poor hamsters. Two of them fought and were injured.

When he came home, he was like a mad man. He ORDERED (again! And what’s new anyway?) me not to go church on weekdays and Saturdays, only Sundays. He threatened he will throw my bibles if I’m defiant.

Personally, I’m prepared to leave anytime. All I need to do is pack my stuff and go, although financially I will be in difficulty after that. I spoke to some of my sister and brother in Christ. They told me to pray and seek God’s will. I know. I know I have to do that. Papa Samuel mentioned ‘children are to obey their parents’ yesterday. I know. But what if your dad is like a mad man and your mum seems to be a Sunday Christian only? I’m really sick of all these. If God would have allowed, I’d have move out if I have the means, or marry somebody! I’m 23 and yet I’m being bounded!

I really don’t know what to do. The devil definitely knew what God is about to do through me. So he’s trying to bind me up to stop God from using me effectively. I know this Sunday’s worship is going to be different. God is also opening me up for His healing powers. My sisters and I have started praying for our dad since this week and the devil is triggering him to stop God from His work. These, the devil tries to stop because he is COWARD!!!

I’m requesting that you can pray for me, ask God to show me which is the right way to go. It’s either, ‘abandon’ my ministry for the time being until it pleases my dad, or get ready to leave home and not affecting my ministry. I’m also fasting and praying, hoping God will reveal before Friday. It’s crucial because I’m leading worship this Sunday and I can already tell God is going to use this worship and His anointing will ride on it. Please help! Thank you all.

God I pray you continue to guide me as I fast and pray. I’m empty without You. I pray You reveal Your plans to me, that I may understand from Your perspective. Tell me which step I should take, that it may glorify Your name. I’m ready to abandon everything for Your sake. Please tell me what to do. In Jesus’ name. Amen.