Saturday, September 02, 2006
My Downs...

It hasn't been a good day, although the rest of the days are fine. Blame it on me or what, I just felt so agitated over everything. I hate staying at home. I feel like I'm always being screwed. I konw I have to press on, but I really feel like running away; to escape for the trap I'm in.

Eugene's so busy with his camp stuff & things between us have fallen apart. I don't think I deserve someone so good like him.He definitely deserves someone 100% better than me. I really wish he could talk to me & be with me more often but it's as good as impossible especially during this period of time.Another 2 months and he'd be out from army but I can't.. I can't hold on for so long.. I'm breaking apart. What should I do... Lord, if you allow, I'd rather not fall in love, like Paul. I'd rather devote myself to You. I felt so much better when I was in my Pre-U times, You & me only..